Hávamál
Mingling in friendship
Friends mingle when each can speak his whole mind to the other. Nothing is so vile as a fickle tongue, and a flatterer is no friend.
Reference: stanza 123 (Bray’s numbering) (The Elder or Poetic Edda, Commonly Known as Sæmund’s Edda, part I: The Mythological Poems)
The text, stanza 123
123.
There is mingling in friendship when man can utter
all his whole mind to another;
there is nought so vile as a fickle tongue;
no friend is he who but flatters.
- Olive Bray (editor and translator), The Elder or Poetic Edda, Commonly Known as Sæmund’s Edda, part I: The Mythological Poems (opens in a new tab) (1908), stanza 123 (Bray’s numbering) Rights: Public domain. Published in 1908, so in the public domain in the United States. Text as edited online by D. L. Ashliman, Folklore and Mythology Electronic Texts, University of Pittsburgh.
In plain English
There is a mingling in friendship when a man can say his whole mind to another. Nothing is so vile as a fickle tongue, and no one is a friend who only flatters.
- Olive Bray (editor and translator), The Elder or Poetic Edda, Commonly Known as Sæmund’s Edda, part I: The Mythological Poems (opens in a new tab) (1908), stanza 123 (Bray’s numbering) Rights: Public domain. Published in 1908, so in the public domain in the United States. Text as edited online by D. L. Ashliman, Folklore and Mythology Electronic Texts, University of Pittsburgh.
Where it comes back
Flattery was also the mark of a false friend in stanzas 24 and 25 (“The unwise man, his nights and his friends”). Stanza 123 is one of the stanzas in this part that does not open with the refrain.
- Olive Bray (editor and translator), The Elder or Poetic Edda, Commonly Known as Sæmund’s Edda, part I: The Mythological Poems (opens in a new tab) (1908), stanza 123 (Bray’s numbering) Rights: Public domain. Published in 1908, so in the public domain in the United States. Text as edited online by D. L. Ashliman, Folklore and Mythology Electronic Texts, University of Pittsburgh.
Modern interpretation
Today this is often read as a definition of real friendship: being able to speak freely and be told the truth. That is a modern reading.
Questions to sit with
- Who tells you the truth, and who only flatters? Which would you rather be?